Chow is often overlooked (by me), but this video proves, once again, that they mean business. Oatmeal business.

In Bagombo Snuff Box: Uncollected Short Fiction, Kurt Vonnegut wrote “Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.” Since this is an oat blog with strict demarcations, I don’t have to say I want whaling to end, or an African team, preferably Ghana, in the World Cup, or even talk about war. Right now, Kurt, all I want is this:

Oatmeal Carmelitas

Loyal readers of the oat blog of record know I don’t shy away from a dollop of yogurt atop my morning oatmeal. I’ve tried the blogger-fueled obsession with yoats, or yogurt covered oats. They didn’t do it for me. 

Tossing my fruit in yogurt, though, is primary genius, oatizens. I coated tiny pieces of kiwi, strawberries, bananas, blueberries with the tangy nectar of the cow gods, and bliss ensued. 

His…

and hers.

‘

All mine! 

The New York Times recently caught onto the fact that many chefs are stoners. If they (claim they) aren’t stoners, they think like stoners (see Christina Totsi, pastry chef at Momofuku). 

I think this next “recipe,” courtesy of Chow, confirms this axiomatic conclusion. File under munchies. 

Combine 4 to 6 tablespoons milk, a dash of cinnamon, and 1 pint vanilla ice cream in a blender or a food processor fitted with a blade attachment. Pulse 8 to 10 times or until mostly smooth. Add 6 crushed crunchy oatmeal cookies and pulse 5 times more. Layer with caramel sauce in a chilled pint glass and serve.

The only thing my television connects to is netflix, so I tend to be in the dark about emerging pop culture icons.

All I know about Dr. Oz is the obvious: he’s a doctor who was manufactured by Oprah.

I don’t know exactly how she does it. 

Perhaps Oprah has, among her many special gifts, the ability to simply will people into being.

Conversely, she might go the more conventional route, funding a lab to produce minions who she then showers with money, cars, and ipads. Eventually, if they’re really good little boys, they get a show of their very own.

These aren’t important details, right? All you really need to know about this beacon of healthful living is that he wears scrubs, and that he’s here to provide a sort of sterile level of attractiveness while doling out mainly aphoristic information.

That other doctor guy, the bald one donning suits, handles the more emo stuff.

Google alert tells me that this Dr. Oz guy wasn’t assembled yesterday: he knows oats are manna from Oprah, and can thicken his otherwise completely straightforward soup recipe. Without further ado, Dr. Oz’s recipe for Cream of Carrot Soup, which will solve all your problems.

2 tbsps Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1 large onion cut into medium dice
1/2 tsp sea salt
2lbs carrots, peeled and cut into 1/2 inch rounds
5 cups of vegetable stock
1/4 cup rolled oats
1 1/2 tsp ginger juice
1 tsp lemon juice
Salt and pepper to taste
Garnish with 2 tsp of dill and dollop of plain yogurt

In a medium-sized pot, heat oil over medium heat. Add onions and salt.  Sweat until onions are soft (about 5-8 minutes). Stir often to prevent browning. Add the carrots, cover pot and cook over low heat for 5-6 minutes. Stir to prevent browning. Add stock and oats to pot. Raise the heat and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer 25 minutes until carrots are tender. Pour contents of the pot into a blender. Blend the soup until creamy. Add additional stock to desired consistency. Add lemon and ginger juice. Readjust seasonings. Garnish with a dollop of yogurt and dill and serve.

According to the American Cancer Society, oats arm the body against cancer.

1. Oats attack bile acids, ultimately reducing their toxicity. 

2. The phytochemicals in oats have cancer-fighting properties.

Things this post taught me:

1. My ban on crisps, which I feared you would tire of, is officially lifted.

2. I need a white farm table, adorable bowls, and milk containers. 

Gluten-Free Plum, Oat and Rosemary Crisp

3 lbs sliced plums
2/3 cups palm sugar or cane sugar
3 Tbs plus 1 tsp cornstarch
1 vanilla bean, scraped
Juice of 1 lemon
pinch of salt

1/2 cup superfine brown rice flour
1/4 cup gluten-free oat flour
1/2 cup gluten-free rolled oats
1/2 cup palm sugar
1/2 tsp sea salt
1 Tbs finely chopped rosemary
Zest of 1 lemon
1/2 cup melted butter

Toss together the sliced plums, cornstarch, lemon juice, sugar, vanilla bean and salt. Transfer to a 10” round baking dish.

In a bowl, whisk together the flours, oats, sugar, sea salt, rosemary and lemon zest. Add the melted butter and fold with a spatula until all the dry ingredients are moist with the butter. Crumble it on top of the fruit.

Bake at 350F until golden and filling starts to bubble. About 45 minutes. If the topping starts to get too dark, cover with a sheet of aluminum foil or parchment paper.

via Cannelle et Vanille

I’m a sucker for poached eggs. If I see it on the menu, served with a salad, soup, vegetable…or pretty much anything, I’m probably going to order it. Throw in oats, chives, a bit of hot sauce and some crusty bread to sop it all up? Yes, please.

Via macheesmo:

Peppered Porridge with Poached Eggs
Serves two.

- 2/3 Cup rolled oats
- 1 1/3 Cups milk
- 1 1/3 Cups water
- 1 Tablespoon butter
- 1 Teaspoon black pepper
- 1 Teaspoon red pepper flakes
- Pinch of salt
- Pinch of sugar
- Chives for garnish
- Hot sauce

Poached Eggs:
- 2 large eggs
- White vinegar

“A paper in the current issue of Science discusses the ability of a single-celled creature to create a robust network while foraging for food—one that mimicked the Tokyo rail system in complexity. Creating a good network is a balancing act; you need to span a large number of nodes with a minimal number of edges (keeping cost low), while being able to function when an edge is lost (fault tolerant). Problems of this type are a shining example of the adage “fast, cheap, or good: pick any two.“ 

In other words, eat more oats! 

Again? Yes. 

Mangoes are in season, meaning that they are ripe, sweet, and cheap. Pick some up, post-haste!